and it comes down to a couple of reasons.
1. I am upset at someone else.
2. I am upset at myself.
This boils down to
I am upset.
SO DON'T MAKE ME UPSET.
I guess punching walls just relieves all the jumbled-up emotions I have within myself, if only temporarily. It allows me to focus on something else for a moment, to calm down and analyze my situation without it being the first and foremost thing on my mind.
There's only been a handful of situations in my life where I actually have punched walls...
Here, I'll list them for you.
1. DC '09. Upset by the fact that Deborah Park + etc. were just being so UGH. Okay you can look at archives for further details.
2. Post-DC '09. Upset at Alice Lee for the way she treated me during DC.
3. Basketball Season '10. Upset at myself for not doing better during practice, thus garnering the attention of Coach White which resulted in lots of yellings and an unhappy me (part of why I quit basketball)
4. Friend Fiasco '10. Upset at myself for being so damn stupid and insensitive and almost losing a highly valued friend in the process.
5. Marching Mishaps '10. Band Camp disaster. Upset at myself for failing so epically.
So you can see a trend in which slowly focusing away from others as the problem and toward myself as being the problem, hooray! Which is... better? Worse? I don't know! You tell me =)
I really need to find another outlet though lolol.
My knuckles are toughening up and it doesn't really relieve stress anymore :(
