romans 1:11-12

11I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— 12that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
romans 1:11-12

I think that that's what happened at this retreat.
I really got encouraged by seeing joanne and kayla just living a life centered around God.
not centered around their lives, or around other people.
but around God.
because God always comes first, you know? and that's what I'm working on right now.
but really. so maybe you guys don't read this.
but I just want to thank you guys for inspiring me,
for leading me back onto the right track to living how a Christian should,
with Christ at the center of our lives.

I'm praying for you guys.

retreat

I wasn't planning to blog about retreat. because it's not really an experience that can be put into words.
but I guess. I don't want to forget it.
so here are some highlights.
beauty and the beast teacup.
o-trip + hoc + ibc in one room! kaylapak + jessiekim + joannechung = new friends.
tackling cat and yvonne in the snow/semi-wrestling.
dance-off at night. eric's pro dance skills. we won that hands down, man. even won over half of the koreans. there's just too many of them.
honey if you love me, would you please please smile? <- amp="" analogies="" and="" anecdotes="" diane="" exorcist="" fights="" from="" in="" interesting="" massive="" pastors="" paul.="" rand="" snow.="" snowball="" tackling="" the="" traitor="" walk="">:o
jk. (:
my look-alike is called david, btw. if you were wondering.
I hear a lot of people tried calling my name and I didn't respond.
but really, it was my look-alike. (:
chinese vs. korean, otrip vs. hoc
"sledding" with cardboard boxes down a hill.
snow sculptures! hobo on a sidewalk playing guitar, eating tv dinner, toilet, nativity scene
rolling around with my knees tucked in around a circle yelling, I'm a ball! :D
it's actually a lot harder than it looks.
meeting south africans and late night noodles.
seeing jeanyoung kim at retreat. interesting. but cool. (:
mafia with orange hill, kayla's amazing guessing skills.
hai dai (seaweed) game with diane and christine.
lame chinese pick-up lines with joanne.
egyptian war! with eddie mike (?) and christine cho. pastor's wife!!
[I just realized that after seeing her last name......]
wrestling cat for real. people thought it was fighting. so the pastors broke it up. >__>
didn't end. cause I didn't get pinned. but hey, you gotta keep in mind that she's 5'8". and I'm 5'2"
late night talks with joanne and kayla.
uno with jessie. punishment! :D toilet paper up the nose and in the ear.
viking and samurai with diane, brian chen, and friends.

goodbyes and hugs. <3 br="">I can't wait for next year.

everyone everyone
if I haven't told you already.
I have just clogged my first toilet. (:
cause like, we're in sf right now?
actually fremont but same difference.
so like. my poop was too big.
and the toilet wouldn't flush.
so then it overflowed!
the water came out and everythingggg.
ahahaha.

yeah it was pretty funny/really embarrassing
here's the recipe to clogging a toilet!

1. don't eat your veggies.
2. eat 1/2 carl's jr six dollar western bacon cheeseburger + lots of fries.
3. check into the extended stay america hotel, room 104 in fremont,CA
4. take a dump.

congratulations! you have just clogged your first toilet. (:

rock band

rock band ftw.
lol 1st time at brian wang's party

also iono if I said this
but this week
katti really reminded me of yvonne.
cause I normally don't bring food
and that one day I did. so I offered her some, right?
and she was like. wow today you actually have food.
so I said. what's that supposed to mean o___o
and she said. well you're always like. can I have somee. can I have somee. can I have somee
and the way she said it + hand motions just really made me think of yvonne XD
cause only she teases me that way. [:
just a thought.

taiwan

nut'n special these days.
heading up to sf on monday though.
and.
iono. I'm really missing taiwan these days.
because like we watched the sister act movies right?
and there's this character - sister mary robert.
and she just really reminds me of this girl in taiwan that I really looked up to.
and now I'm just missing taiwan again =/

oh yeah, bought a bunch of books.
happy (:
and saw pauline! made my day.
happier

feeling good

I feel so wrapped up in myself.
ahahahhaha.
seriously though.
but whatever.

thank you, michelle, for the christmas card.
I really appreciated it. and it made me smile a lot when I was reading it (:
thank you, shivanti, for the bear.
I like the hood. XD
thank you, priya and joyce and jenny pauline and labdhi and whoever else gave me cookies and chocolate and cupcakes and whatnot.
they came in useful when I was caking eileen because she shocked me with her stick of "gum"

this was a pretty good end to the week
got the high in my science comp! (yes, be very proud of me.)
LOL katti accused me of "pimping" cause of spanish proj.
writing a song, right?
and I was gonna be with katti ted ashley.
but rita got htere first. so I was like. well. whatever.
and then I went with andrew paul gabriel.
hence. pimping (:

and man,
I really love 11:11 wishes.
they always come true

days

yeesh.
headaches came back.
pep rally was okay.
but pretty good day, in all
raining!
national treasure in history.
hung stars for geometry.
like kelsey's, and alison's, and grace's.
oh yeah! looked at carm yearbook.
WHICH REMINDS ME.
I pointed out nicole in the yearbook the other day,
I said. that's my best friend!
and this kid. shinray. he was like.
wow she's kinda hot. lmao! XD
HEHE I finally found someone to sing singing in the rain with me.
you're a good sport, kat.
jacked esther's raisins too.
and gave some of them away XD
feel pretty comfortable for spanish orals.

yeesh! (haha 2nd one)
chem finals tmrw + spanish vocab quiz + geometry test.
wish. me. luck.

ASJDFKL;AWUERI;JZXCV;IJF;IU

major headache yesterday
which is why I didn't post.
but oh gosh,
I'm so effing proud of my star.
it is like. THE project of all projects.
that I can show off to my friends and be like.
look at this. it's beautiful. be jealous, very jealous. (:
and they are.
ahahha I left it in park's office.
and she was like omgsh it's beautiful!
and I was like. I knoww <3
so park's like. well SOMEONE'S conceited. and unmodest.
and I"m like. heck yes!
then she was like. I'LL CRUSH IT! :D
me: NOOOOOO D:

ahahha I love her ^^
jensen was really wow'ed by it too.
she saw it through the window in 7th and she was grinning. thumbs up.

today = nothing special.
our soccer team is good.
tests back for science - 33/35? or something like that.
got 2 wrong.

OH YEAH.
today was the first time.
I fell asleep in class.
only for like 5 minutes. but still!
well it wasn't really sleeping. it was just close eyes + zone out.
be proud of me, yes? (:

talks

yesterday:
good talks with amrita and kelsey and mary and annie at lunch.
LOL canary mary and granny annie.
so freaking hilarious.
singing last christmas! and serenading each other -> me and annie

today:
help in geometry from kat + jensen
worked on hwk with kelsey during lunch in breik.

very uneventful couple of days ahhaha.
but I'm curious - how does kat know my brother?

11:11

my 11:11 wishes have been coming true lately.
which is really nice.
partner activity today was cool. dos!
haha our convo was really natural too, right kat? (:

awkward moments in the hallways.
egyptian war >:o
caking with emilyhwang's 3rd cake.
yeah. pretty much sums up the day.
very vague, but those are the main events. (:

alright wish me luck with history test tmrw!
gnite.

redwall

pelota en espanol hoy
lucky catch, good throw, good catch.
scandalous short shorts.
redwall discussions.
start with long patrol (3)
2 pyramids of the star.
manouevering in the hallways.
"what the freak omgosh overachiever emily"
lunch + hwk with the fecc kids.
baton conducting with margarita.
alright day.
didn't think at all about emotional crap.
just living in the moment.

and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY RYOO.

THE INDIAN SOCIAL CIRCLES.

OH and. talked with amrita after school.
because I caught her staring at this circle of scrubs.
so I asked, is it the norm to stare at people for you?
amrita: YES.
and then she goes on to elaborate about how when indians go to dances they stare at other people in their cars. and even when they don't know them, they say hi anyways!
you have to get her to explain it to you.
and seriously, ALL indians know all the other indians in the school.
no joke.
HAHA indians. (:
you guys are cool

thinking you're all that

it's beginning again - those days.
ASJDFKL;ASJF;LASJ

I hate it.
but talked with annie and michellechang after school
about vibes from people who think they're all that.
I think it leaks into their face too, though.
that vibe.

hmm. what do you do with people,
if you already confronted them.
and asked. what their problem with you was.
but they lied to your face and said they had no problem with you.
but then. cause you're close with their best friend.
you guys talk about this drama stuff, yeah?
because it hurts you to the point of tears.
and so she says, no they're lying to you. but of course she's not going to say it to your face.
and it's like. what are you supposed to do now.
you can't really fix anything if they're denying the problem in the first place.
but you still have to deal with the underlying current of hostility.

well, I guess in this scenario.
like I was talking to kat about.
"voodoo solves everything."
but remember, there's more than one answer to everything.
brute force works too - if it doesn't, you just use more. ^^

dog days are over

my bad batch of days is officially OVER.
please don't start up a new batch.
I can't take it no more.

hehe in the morning, I was kind of getting cold feet about talking to verrett.
and then joan finally pushed me in after much discussion with her and angel.
she looked really pissed but hey!
found out buses/rooms ahead of time.
PWAHAHA I'M ON BUS 2. WITH THE ONLY ROOM OF PEOPLE.
THAT I SOCIALIZE WITH.
so freaking happy.
plus, jensen's on the bus! omg omg omg ahhaah
no verrett. well she's okay. she's just too like. demanding? ahah
but she's pretty nice at heart <3 br="">wish park was going thoughhhh

getting science tests tmrw! and finishing geometry test
and and and. iono. went to small groups today.
but just ended up studying with kelsey and amritadoshi
and. freaking ran two "bleans"
which was supposed to be under 9? but iono how it worked,
....waitt! I got it now lol
I took 3:30 to run the first, leaving me 5:30.
and then it took me 3:30 to run the second.
giving me 2:00. AHAH I get it now
cause I thought it took me 5:30 to run the first.
so I started freaking out. (:
saw mr. green during pe today though! pretty cooool.

...and yeah, geo test. bleh.
not much hwk today so that's good though.

listening

wow, I just appreciate teacher so much.
you can't believe how much it's like.
I love you teachers!
because like they're so understanding and they know the answers to everything and yeah.
they know what to say when your friends don't.
and they really know how to listen.
okay, maybe not all teachers.
but ms. park f'sho <3 br="">she's always gonna be my favorite teacher.
specially cause she's asian! :D

but yeah, I went and talked to her after school cause I was just really down.
and she just really helped a lot.
and really, everything does happen for a reason.
I got put in her class last year so I would have someone to talk to when this happened.
and I'm just so thankful a certain teacher called deliana park is in my life.

and I'm thankful for michelle too.
just for listening to me talk about my troubles.
and being a good ear of a friend. (:
it's nice to know that people care enough about you to listen.
and she was also there for me when I confronted deborah.
and kept so young busy so she couldn't listen in.
deborah was lying though =/
she said that! "oh I'm totally fine with you in my room. it's just that you didn't ask us first-"
(you guys are gone, how can I ask?)"-and alice wanted her own bed. it wasn't me who wanted to kick you out." (might as well confess already.)
park said at this point, I can't trust anyone.
ahh! forgot to ask if she's going to DC with us.
I really really hope she is though.

I think that I just might forget this whole thing by switching rooms though.
depending on what rooms are open.
because, someone dropped from washington DC?
like her mom just called verrett today.
I got so freaked out though when verrett called julian's cell during the game
it was like. AHHH! verrett? yeeesh.

that's right, the game.
game was fun. watched with annie and michelle, then just with annie.
haha I can't believe that like when annie "voodoo-ed" the free throw people
they actually missed the shot.
every single time.
and when she didn't "voodoo" them, they made it. interesting, no?
cracked me up so bad (:
but good game ladies! I'm proud of you guys.
....even though we lost 71-22.
BUT WHATEVER. you guys are good. they're just too big and black for you.
the asian girl on their team was really good though.

...and you know,
sometimes, all that's really needed is a bit of encouragement.
a bit of reminding that you're not who those people think you are.
"I don't get why people don't like you. You're such a likeable person! <3 br="">- thanks, ms. park. that really was I needed at that time [sincerely] (:

chilling

rawr! today was like. a parabola.
started out good. then it went downnn. and then it went back up! :D
so in the morning. bonding time with people and stuff.
in between legs and everything! <3 br="">and then from science it was jsut like >>>>>>>
well risse's kid is solomon.
interesting name.
and verrett I got 100% on test. but it was just like.
.....
I hate class. I hate school. get this over with already.
after that spanish: 52/50 on test.
good, yes? but spanish was also like.
I hate class. I hate school. get this over with already.
baillie though, baillie I laughed.
because everyone was such total retards and you know,
I couldn't help but laugh. thanks you guys <3 br="">also! got cleared on hwk cause she didn't check it so I was like, YES :D
lunch was ehh. cause a table got stolen!
but I just sat down next to the tree.
talked with pauline. talked with mary ogawa.
LOL she was like. amused? by raymond's trash-talking. pretty interesting reaction.
pe just screwed around. tony's announcer thing is going a bit too far, though.
also like in breik I was like BLEHHH. BLEHHH BLEHH BLEHH.
and like. you ever get that vibe from people?
that they just. don't. like you? I'm getting that from mylan.
seems like she has something against me. ]:

after school though! man! after school. great!
met some scrubs. they're pretty cool. 'specially ann.
there's also. ashley. wakanamiya or whatever. rachel! and... LOL I don't remember them.
but wakanamiya was like >___>
I just don't like her attitude ahha. it's so like. eww I don't wanna practice.
ewww this is stupid. but whatever. they're scrubs! they'll change.
ann was tight though. (:

but then cause like. after a couple of layup drills.
the scrubs kinda quit. so rita got pissed off and called practice over.
so then. we started heading back. but then rita was like! hey, you want me to work with you a bit?
and I'm like! OMGSH YES. THANK YOU RITA.
so that was really nice. just worked on basic layup stuff. think I'm getting better. (:
counted in arabic for ten-in-a-row close up shots XD
and yeah. at times, rita can really be a lil' beezy.
but we share the love of basketball. so it's all cool by me. (:
so it started getting dark, and then katti came out and was like.
"aww you're practicing emily! yay!" so that was encouraging.
and I'm glad I decided to stay. so then I said, let's just call it a day.
because it was about 4.

then we left. went to my locker, did hwk. got stuck on geometry!
so I asked for help. LOL and like when I went to christine,
everyone started crowding around to try and figure it out.
and it did help. because I did figure it out.
but poor michelle. her mexican joke got ignored XD
hahah serina was all like JOIN BASKETBALL NOW NOW NOW.
interesting. I love those basketball people. (:
also like, steph's hair scent is overpowering.
because she was helping. and her hair was hanging in front of my face cause she was looking at the book too.
and it was like. WHOOOOSH. scent.
even through my plugged nose.

hehe afterwards when I went back to my locker.
chilled with annie and sayoni for a bit.
annie's real funny. (:
then! when kat came back cause her locker's right over by mine.
I was asking her for help. and she was all like IT'S SOOOOOO EASY.
>:o *SLAP*"OWWW" "hehe"
but she helped and that was nice, katti-lao shi.
and then to get back at her I took out her wallet and put FUGLY on a postit over her ID card. pwahahah (:
yeah. ahahah when borah came, I totally did not hear her right?
so all of I sudden I hear this "EMILYYYY"
and I get so freaked out I"m like "YAASJDFKLASD;JWI"
XD

chilled with other people not mentioned above:
celine, joycele, angela, kelsey (for a bit)

I love my friends.

senior pastor kept calling me julian today.
but I got five bucks so whatever.
linda came!
finished girls appreciation.
and I felt like crying a lot today.
iono why.
actually I do know why.
but yeah.

YAHH DISNEYLAND TODAY.
so much fun. lost my voice at the end kinda.
but whatever. it was worth it.
the bonding times in the waiting for rides.
and the rides themselves.
disney's magic.

thank you all for making this such a special day.

short post.

happy thanksgiving everyone!
I'm thankful for you. <3

327

post 327 ^^
but then again. today was not so good.
two tests.
BORING as heck of a science class.
but we got to sing in spanish!
walked around a lot with gutter
and uhh. LOL went into elberson with like joan and annie
to check their grades.
class average of 69?!
bad bad bad :[
played handball in pe! in the hallways
GO BOSS DUDE. (that's me)
found out that the day deborah knew that I was in her room,
she went to verrett after school to try and kick me out.
great way to end the day for thanksgiving, huh?

this week has been pretty bad - -xx
I don't know what I'm going to be thankful about in...3 minutes.

and you know like, all this hate.
the more I think about it.
the more it drags me down. the more I'm just like.
what the HELL is your problem with me.
so I facebooked her. to avoid confrontation.
because. I'm afraid I'm going to start crying.
I'm only human you know.
I can only take so much abuse before I break.

isabella con ian

RAWR
tengo que practicar espanol!
hoy tengo un examen para la clase de ciencas.
el examen es facil, pero el problema ocho es muy dificil!
no comprendo. ><
la clase de historia es muy aburrida.
a mi no me gusta la profesora verrett.
usted habla mucho; a mi no me gusta mucho >O
la clase de espanol es regular.
no es aburrida, pero no es divertida.
nosotros play-mos un game-o. (:
yo tengo cuatro participacion puntos! :D
jaja; despues de la clase de espanol,
isabella vamos a la clase de matematicas con su chico amigo, ian villa <3
skip-o a ian. XD
hablo con isabella:
yo: a ti te gusta mucho mucho mucho ian, no?
isabella: -_-
yo: tu skip-o! :D
isabella: ejej.
yo: emocional constipacion es muy malo! no deny-o tu feelings. (:
isabella: AJDFKASDL;J. (:

la clase de ingles es aburrida.
a las doce y media - a la una,
hablo con mi amiga pauline!
hablo mucho. habla mucho.
a mi me gusta hablo con pauline. (:

la clase de educacion fisica es aburrida tambien.
pero, yo hablo mucho con mi amiga alicia!
a mi me gusta hablo con alicia. (:

la clase de matematicas es aburrida tambien.
pero, yo hablo con mi amigos emliang y pedro!
ellos son divertidos. (:

despues de la escuela,
voy a la mi casa.
hacer la tarea. estudiar! ><
hablo con mi amiga alice!
a mi me gusta hablo con alice. (:

standing up

today was just not my day, yet again.
I guess it was kind of premonition this morning.
when a certain girl just picked up the card I took so long to make
and read it. without asking me, the author
if it was okay. some things aren't meant to be shared...

science was pretty cool with mr. z standing in as a sub for risse,
cause his wife is delivering his baby (:
so he'll be out all week.

verrett was just like OMG let's get on with this insane 20-page lecture.

spanish, was okay, I guess. partner activities with graciella and a lot of talking with sean
cause he's my vecino.
hehehe katti has a lover, no? <3
ian was waiting outside for her. aww, how sweet.
but now you're stealing katti from me >:o
I don't get to talk with her anymore from 4-5 =/
[he asked her to a special dance ;D]
I asked her if they had a "thing"
and she was like. well he asked me.
so I said, DIDYA SAY YES :D
and she's like yeahh.
then I asked. so. he likes you. do you like him?
katti: it's still too early to tell
me: THIS COULD BE THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP <3 it's okay katti. you don't have to deny it. (;
katti: AJDFKL;ASDJF

baillie did pirate webquest. it's so awkward with deborah.
kat says I should talk to her, but I just don't know.
it's really hard you know. talking with someone when you know they hate you.

lunch; global concerns picture. standing btwn borah and emma
got made fun of by pauline for not bobbing in time to the music
cause we were listening to where is the love. <-good song!
hehe I'm so happy I found someone who's like me. who snaps and bobs and walks to the beat :D

and then pe. oh gosh. iono.
I was being really serious today and not talkative because like.
it's so weird. with all this dc stuff.
so then later, because we finally got rewards today.
I was shooting hoops with alice and serin, right?
and she tells me all this drama stuff.
no details but basically so young's being a lil "beezy" (to use katti's word. XD)
and. her and so young got in a fight. her and amykim got in a fight.
so then, so young was like you're just like emily yang. a nerd with no rep.
and at that point iono. it jsut hurt. it doesn't amount to much, does it?
it's not anything harmful. but it's the way my name is used to put someone down.
that's where it hurts.. (I'm only realizing this as I type)
so tears kinda came up but I pushed them back down because.
words shouldn't hurt that much.
and then, alice says that so young's spreading rumors that she's lesbo or something.
just because she said some korean celebrity was pretty.
I mean, I say that all the time. I say, oh pauline's pretty. katti's pretty. isabel's pretty. ms. park's pretty.
that doesn't mean ANYTHING at all.
total bs. just to get revenge? grow up, so young. your name describes you perfectly.
I get so mad when people do that. it's so...immature.

and then because I'm wondering what else so young said, I ask.
so now. I'm a nerd with no rep that pretends to act tough just to try and be cool.
am I that fake, I ask you?!
I don't think I am. I hope I'm not. I really hope that's not the impression I give off to people.
because that's just how I am.
and, alice. i REALLY appreciate you as a friend. just for saying,
dude. you have no right to judge her. you don't even know emily yang.
it's moments like these that really make me appreciate the kind of friends that I have.
I love you guys.

and tony, even though you probably weren't aware of it. thanks for cheering me up.
just by being an obnoxious "announcer" during basketball.
you were hilarious. thanks. <3

and thanks mary and sarah, just for being there. just being who you guys are,
and messing around in our class,
drawing pictures. (of me, claro si que!)


and thanks to all the people who asked about my facebook status,
and to the people that listened when I told them about it.
yvonne, marissa, mary, katti, pauline.
you guys are great. I love you <3


and now I gotta go to sleep
and hope I don't fail the science test. goodnight (:

dc meeting.

and then dc meeting.
the ONLY good thing about it was.
wait, there were no good things. =/


so first off, I should explain what I went in there thinking.
I was thinking that I'm going to be rooming with sabrina f'sho
but I know that serin is most likely going to go with lilith/phoebe/angela
and that's what happened.
she went off.
and then what happened was, sabrina ditched me too.
so I'm left standing there. smiling on the outside. but.
you know that kinda hurts me too.
I mean yeah, I know I'm not as close with them as I am with pauline and everyone.
but still. it was just like...kind of shock. at first.
and then I'm looking for a group. and I don't find any.


finally, I'm left standing in there.
most of the people are gone. there's just a handful of guys there still talking.
so I went up to bender, because he's in charge of the rooms
and I say, hey I don't have a room...
and he's like. oh! well. you can be in this one then. and he starts to write my name down along sharon/hannah park.
now I'm totally fine with hannah.
the only reason she probably doesn't hate me yet is because I haven't had any classes with her the past two years.
[true generalization: I don't get along with girls in my grade at whs whose last name is park.]
however. sharon effing HATES me.
don't ask me why. I don't exactly like her either but,
she effing HATES me.
okay let's rewind to before when I was looking for a room.
sharon: does anyone not have a room? cause right now, it's just me and hannah the two of us.
me: I don't have a room! :D
sharon: *looks over in my direction*glares*ignore*
me: =/
so yeah, that's what happened.
so then I was like, er, I don't really get along with this girl *points at sharon's name*
can I be in that room? (alicelee/kasiele/deborahpark; remember the generalization?)
so he's like, okay! and he puts my name down there.


now, we're going to add a couple more side notes.
alice lee: man, she's like. one of my coolest friends in my grade. I'm totally chill with getting her in my room.
her reaction? well. she was like yeah I'm okay with it. cause me and her, we talk a bunch.
kasie le: I'm cool with her, I guess. we're not the closest of friends. but we get along.
her reaction? "well I was really looking forward to just the three of us. and I was HOPING we'd get our own room. but it's alright. I can understand why you wouldn't want to be with sharon."
deborah park: we don't click. we just. do not. get along. like seriously.
her reaction? from what alice says. she's pissed off... I'm just going to avoid her.


I guess I should go off on a tangent again, and explain about sharon.
they don't like sharon. because last year, she used to take them off one by one,
and bad talk the other people in the clique. and then they all found out. and got pissed.
so none of them like her anymore. but she has no idea.


anyways! so now you know my situation. what should I do?
...it's kind of hard to room with someone who obviously doesn't want you there,
and harder yet when the two other people would rather be friends with that person than you.

friday-sunday (minus dc mtg)

-----------------------------------edit
I'm writing this as if it were saturday.
and then I got caught. (:
so now it's sunday.
-----------------------------------end edit

okay so like.
a LOT of stuff happened yesterday.
[pero internet ban, so didn't get to blog.]
anyways. most of it was pretty darn bad.
but we'll do good first, yeah?

jesus club picture YAY!
jessliu didn't show up though.
and I'm standing next to michelle at the top.

also! got katti to do my chinese hwk for me.
she epic failed. (:
but hey, thank you sat2 chinese-er! :D
lol her chinese handwriting looks like her english writing.
joked around with her when she gave it back to me
cause she couldn't think of the idiom that's antonym for 热闹
so I just put 没人! michelleguan cracked up. (:
hmm iono if she still remembers me though.
it's always awkward when that happens.
I guess I'll just ask her one of these days.

oh yeah in spanish
barry got really emotional. because of people putting like those.
kevintang-type of people as nominations for snow court
and, it's obviously a joke.
just to laugh at them when they go up there.
that's so stupid!
so I contributed and said, just ask them if they'll accept it.
and barry was happy with that (:
but she started crying. and I can understand D:
lol I finally worked with katti for partner activity btw. XD

and then I had baillie.
and it started going downhill from there.
because ethan was goofing off,
and mean baillie came out.
because we weren't discussing.

see "DC meeting" for the rest of this blog. it's way too long. (:


I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT SUNDAY NOW YAY.
hehe in the morning, I had some good bonding time with chloe.
just me talking. and her talking.
and about drama and cliques and hating and all that crap.
it was nice.
ahahha I choked on my coffee and spat it out ALL over everything. not chloe though.
service =  eagles; pastor lai. interesting.
and then we went to in'n'out after the service for small group time.
2 truths and a lie! (:
that's it.

my day

so so
today was pretty good.
except for internet ban. [sneaking on dad's computer.]
don't ask.

verrett test = pretty darn hard.
but! before, rita and kira were talking bout going to gahr next year =/
don't leave!

barry didn't freaking call on me today. me OR isabella.
sheesh! she has something against chinese people, I swear.

baillie was kinda retarded as usual. but got some ssr time so that's cool.
lol we never learn anything. makes me kinda sad.
I want park back =/

for lunch. kels and jess sat with us!
but like, kelsey was sick. ear infection, ya'know?
so she went home early =/
get better soon kelsey! we miss you <3
but I had some good talking time with jessica.
I haven't been talking to her recently. and I really need to more.

pe = screwed around. we tried. and man, serin and michelle a. are freaking good.
I really hope they decide to join middle school basketball in the spring.
and mina's quite nice. to me, at least. I don't get why alice doesn't like her.
left a note on alicezuo's locker. (:
because I saw the zuo on her shorts and I was like, I'll leave you a note!
spontaneous action <3

gave an apple to katti from 6-7. because I remembered that she had an apple that one day in barry!
and jess didn't want hers. so I was like, heck, I'll give it to her.
ahahhaha (:

breik was pretty fun today though, because mary/esther/sarah always come chill in our room.
watched the happening (part of it)
imuna jack it from priya later again.
hehe I traded hwks with mary, because like she didn't want to do her english hwk.
and I didn't want to do proofs.
so she did my geo hwk and I did her english hwk. (:
made fun of sarah and her short shorts :P
which are for "soccer"
YEAH RIGHT SARAH. WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF YOUR LEGS.
jk. ;D
hehe math is fun just to bond with emliang/mary/sarah/alicelee

days

couple things that were super important to today that I forgot to mention:

first of all. scrub! you! samkim! yes you
here's how our convo went over at my locker.
sam: you're not a scrub.
me: yeah I'm an eighth grader.
sam: is your last name kim
me: no I'm a yang! (:
sam: what are you doing here! get out! >:o (jokingly)
me: you know what! huh! scrub! I bet I could take you.
sam: ._.
me: hi I'm emily yang. what's your name
sam: sam kim.
so then we do the whole , hand-knuckle thing.
and for me. trying to prove how tough I am.
I slam my fist into his
and my knuckles still hurt. XD

also. math was pretty fun.
chillin' with emliang. listening to her destroy beautiful songs
from a walk to remember.
but hey, she's cool. don't tell her I said that though! (:
also got to chill with sarah and mary. cause they came and visited
and that was cool. (:

haircuts

today was
go to school and have everyone tell me you got a haircut day.
but it was all cool.
anyways so like,
just constructed more molecules in science.
alison was the first one to tell me that I got a haircut XD
after that was kat, I guess.
in between 2-3.
haha she was all like
"this time I can totally tell you got a haircut. (:
you look so cute!"
I punch her.
"hey! that was a compliment! >:o"
hehe too bad. (:

verrett debate was just plain stupid.
got some good time talking to jessicabarnett though!

9/10 for barry miniquiz.
I just felt really tired in that class.
and in baillie.
AHHA IN BAILLIE.
WE GOT IN TROUBLE.
BECAUSE OUR TEAM NAME WAS GONNA BE, the flaming CHINKS (+julia).
but baillie was like NOOOO that's a racial slur.
bad as the n-word for blacks!
so she ripped it up - -xx
and now we're the flaming ligers

cool time at lunch though, making jesus club publicity shirts.
mine looks pretty darn ugly.
the words are all crooked.
but oh well. it's my shirt! take it or leave it. (:
had some nice time with jessliu and michellechang
fixed it up at home though. so that's cool.

screwed around in pe. ALSO.
I found out that a certain someone was together with kevin chon over the someone.
you know who you are.
I need to talk to you.. better watch out!

and now I gotta study for verrett test. >____>
shouldn't be too bad..

haha I find that nowadays,
my favorite moment of the day.
is pasear en el pasillo from barry to my locker and her lockercon mi amiga.
just to hablar. (:

days

rawr. okay um
today was. interesante? ahaha
switched seats for verrett, so now I'm sitting next to kevin chon
behind fernie (who sits behind rita)
and in front of eunice.
that's gonna be a problem cause eunice never finishes copying.
because she's so slow. - -xx

barry was like ehhhh. because I raised my hand for freaking everything!
and she never called on me.
so I was like. what the _____
whatever though. ahahahha (:
I have a good enough grade for that class.

hehe I like messing with katti though.
like slamming her locker right when she opens it :D
cause she did that to me before. stupid katti. (;
and not letting her slam mine.
haha. also and, if she's "kat." then I"m "mil"
weird no? o_o

took pictures today for animal planet and racket club
lol I ended up kneeling for animal planet. in the middle of all the scrubs.
plus la presidente. (:
probly cause she felt sorry for me, but ahahha.
vice pres. didn't show up which is pretty. darn. bad..
saw kat's design, and it looks pretty good.

hehe I got to talk to cat (with a c) today though.
and that was nice. just to be able to keep in touch,
and just to liao yi liaoo. (:
AHHA I totally don't get your video that you posted on my wall,
but hey. I love it. thanks. <3

oh yeah, a couple things I forgot to mention.
I ran the whole 10 minutes! (and probly an additional 30 seconds)
for pe today.
because crissman and ednoff were watching.
and I was like, heck, might as well run the whole thing.
just to see if I can do it.
so I actually ran it. and succeeded in not slowing down (at least not tooo much.)
and lapped a lot of people.
yeah just wanted to say that. (:
but now, my legs are sore. like uncomfortable? but like I can walk and run and everything.
I'm in bad shape. from now on though,
I resolve to run EVERYTHING. to get in better shape. (:

another day

*yawnn*
I'm tired!
but today was a good day.
HEHE alice cut her hair!
and her bangs are like. super short!
and her new glasses. omgosh.
what a nerdy cute little girl. (:
I love you alicelee<3

--------------------------------edit
I decided that I'm gonna start tagging my posts.
for the people that are mentioned. (:
--------------------------------end edit

haha a couple people today thought I cut my hair.
no you guys.
that's tomorrow :P
something about my bangs looking shorter.
when I cut my hair, you'll know f'sho. ahahha (:
they said my hair looked nicer today though :D

so anyways, turned in my animal planet design.
and again. I"m quite proud of it. (:
haha katti's such a weirdo.
did her little happy dance (jumping up and down)
and she was like IT'S SOOO CUTE. <3
well, I'm glad you liked it. ahahah
I just hope other people do too.

that reminds me! me and alijah were messing with sheila this morning
for science.
cause she wants to design something for dc trip,
so we were like. yeah you should draw a panther flying over the white house!
cause it drank red bull and has wings. (:
drunk panther ftw! :D
but sheila's a real good drawer. so I'm cool if she designs it.
her or hannah park or alison lee.

me and pauline had an interesting discussion about.
confessions of love.
and couples. ;D

also like. ermm. yeah today was good.
but dude, I suck so  bad at basketball.
I just got reminded today at how much I suck.
cause we were with crissman ednoff.
yeesh!
well, I guess I jsut gotta practice more.
because I can't get better at something just by liking it.
and you know what?
my dream. for high school.
is to have my name up on that board!
the one in the gym, with all the names on it for sports.
to have my name on that board. for girls varsity basketball. (:

it's impossible as of now.
but we'll see.

david and lisa

david and lisa was the bomb.
I love thomas's character.
he's soo cute <3
but I hated the fact that like
the people behind us gave a running commentary
it was so annoying.
but david and lisa was worth it! so good!
:D
church was good today. (:
hehe joan and her parents are so funny.
her and her 5 houses. only 5 houses? in the state, that is. XD

k-k-k-katti

well I haven't blogged in a while ahahaha.
but some highlights of the past couple of days:

KATTI HORNG.
what a funny girl (:
so what happened was,
we all got candy. cause we got 7-10 on espanol quiz.
and she didn't want hers.
so she mouthed to me, d'you want it?
and I'm like. sure! :D
so she waits until barry's not looking
and throws it across the room!
and cause she sucks at throwing. despite her balling skills.
and it smacks andrew in the face! XD
so freaking hilarious.
and andrew was like, hey! if the candy hits me in the head I assume it's mine. (:
too bad andrew.

also the other day she pushed me (lightly) while I was doing my locker combo.
and I smacked my head against the wall.
stupid katti. (:

uhh. gonna go watch david and lisa tonight!
there was a cockroach on the wall in chinese school O___O
and some guy took the teacher's water bottle and hit it.
and teacher got pissed. XD

we got pwned in scrimmages for pe.
ASJFKL;ASDJFASK; stupid non-aggressive people.
it's like. they're supposed to guard that person.
but they don't! and cause of that they got all those points on us.

also in barry! you know how all our visuals are up on the wall, right?
so agrums came into the room one day and was interested in a bunch of the visuals.
and barry took note, and told us on friday. (:
hehehehe! go me. (I don't know why she liked mine, but it's nice to be noticed.)
also katti! with her pro shading skills.
and go amy! with her oreo hands.
and I don't remember who else.
but tiffany's monster was freaking cool. and the la mujer fruta too!

church was cool too. because like,
hot topics are fun.

and baillie! my team is me alice joo david wang ethan chen julia christensen.
I like everyone except for julia.
sorry julia. it's just that you think you're all that! and. your'e not. sorry.
...yeah if I remember anything else I'll tell you guys.

talking to yourself

hehe I just remembered something
I've noticed that a lot of people talk to themselves!
take steph, for example.
it was morning before friday comp
"intense" study time in the cold.
so she joins our group. and she's studying bio.
and then she like mutters, "ahha! uh-huh"
LOL I just found that very interesting.
and I asked her if she was talking to herself,
and she said yes. XD
maybe that's why she's so good at studying O_o
she makes sounds when she realizes something! eheh

also andrew liang! I was walking in the halls, and then I hear this muttering sound.
look up; it's andrew! and he's talking to himself too. (:
hehehe! goodness you people. talk to yourself in your head! that's what I do, at least. (:

today was alice lee's! and isaac's! birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TWO. <3
we sang them a song in breik.
we're too rowdy in that class. we really need to quiet down. (:
also had dc meeting today. boring.
!!! verrett comp: 99.13 percent. overall grade: 98.14 percent.
my grades have met my standards.
I'm content!
here's all my grades, actually, in case you were wondering.
science - 98.56
history - 98.14
spanish - 101.34
baillie - unknown >_>
pe - high A. (:
breik - 97.26
yo estoy contenta! :D

okay bye bye. (:

personality traits

hey you guys, I was just wondering.
(and this time I have comments so no excuses! >:o) <-ooh that looked like a big nose smile. (:
anyways back on topic.
what two unique personality traits would you use to describe me.
like, things that really stick out.
and make me emilyyang! :D
you can put 3 or 4 or 5 if you really want. in case of a 4-way tie. pwahahah!

anyways I feel better today. (:
just cause of school. it takes your mind off of everything, no?
so! one fourth of the year is over. 3/4's to go. makes me kinda sad =/
school's going by so fast!
also like. switched seats in spanish and science today.
science I like it I think.
sandwiched between joyce and alison.
after we switched everything around XD
initially it was. vamsi me hylie joyce alison
but then I was like EWWW vamsi. sorry vamsi.
but joyce wanted to be next to hylie! and I didn't want to be aisle person.
so then it became. vamsi hylie joyce me alison
shhh. don't tell risse. (:

verrett. sub. walked around. "bathroom"
walked by park like twice! no one looked up.
walked by elberson too! twice!
saw everyone. no one saw me. except for steph. :D
yay go stephanie.
ahahah I gave her my gangsta nod.
she raised her eyebrows, real cool. (:

!!! spanish, for now. I really like my seat.
like really really like it.
so I have pedro* in front, juan to my left side (since I"m on the edge), and margarita behind me!
pina's two seats to the left.  but yeah, I like it. (:
but we lost dolores =/

ooh pe! AJSKL;SDFJF;ALSJD DARN THAT SUB.
WE SHOULD JUST "FORGET" OUR  TEAMS
AND REPICK ON MONDAY.
ajdfl;asjk! she picked serin for captain! so then like.
my secret weapon was gone. >___>
my team's alright though. me alice tony laura.
so at least I'll have fun.
played horse with serin and alice! that was fun. (:
hehe it's always fun teasing alice. :D
and man, I wish I had that natural talent like serin does.
stand. crouch. shoot. swish!

breik.....94.5 on comp. yeesh. maybe I should lower my standards.
talked about ______ and hwo he should ask a certain someone to formal.
man, it's pretty obvious that he likes her. and that she likes hiim.
snapped guitar strings? c'mon! sitting close in bio? uh-huhh. <3

HAHAHA you should get joan to tell you her story. imuna screw it up, but here's the gist of it.
well first of all you ahve to know that.
joan's parents are very much in support of her getting a boyfriend. it's weird.
anyways! so her mom's like. joan you get prettier every time you get sick.
joan: *eat cereal*
mom: when are the guys gonna start coming to our house? any day now, huh. (:
joan: *eat cereal*
mom: if he's korean. I'll accept him. if he brings food, oh yes! definitely :D
joan: *eat cereal*
mom: if he's only a little worse than your dad, then I'll accept him too. (:
joan: *eat cereal*
dad: haha if joan wanted to marry a guy better than me. she'd never get married. XD
joan: WHAAA?
well I totally screwed it up. get the original version from joan. she tells it real good.

hmm sylvia told me something today.
cause I asked her to describe me too, yeah?
and she said.
"cherishing. like sorta grateful? or you cherish your relationships. because your posts? like for the most time. its about the way you interact with others. not about your own life."
never thought about it that way.
and now that I do, I can't stop thinking about it. XD

in the washer

today was really good.
I got a lot of things done.
started designing animal planet tshirt.
copied 2 chapters worth for verrett.
played a lot of ffxii.
and watched funny hippo dog videoes.
and then it all went tumbling down the drain.

so my mom put my wallet in the washer. she didn't feel them in the jeans.
and. it got loose.
and all my pictures got ruined.
EVERYTHING was in there. and I mean everything everything.
pictures of sylvia and yvonne.
pictures of yvonne and sharon and joycelyn.
picture of grace and and her prom date.
picture of andrew and his formal date.
picture of pauline, joan, labdhi, michelle, judy.
picture of jessliu, shivanti, ellie, michelle, michele.
everything was in there. and now it's all gone.
except for cue pictures because they were laminated.
but then again,
my library card's gone too.
and all I can think right now is.

what the fuck.

weekends

FINALLY got to sleep in. for the first time. in like forever :D
played lots of video games
starting to recopy verrett notes (30 pages worth of lectures)
just because I have a touch of ocd ;D
went out to eat! for uncle ken's birthday.
headed over to yvonne/sylvia's house afterwards.
mostly chilled with sylvia and molly. because it was kinda awkward with boawen/brianc.
but yeah that was pretty fun.
molly's cool. (:
molly was there for chem proj. with sylvia.
hehe and thanks tong! for agreeing to help me design animal planet shirt.
gotta get that free shirt! >:D
okay bye. waking up at 8 to do ppt. ughh.
coffee <3

comps

RAWR COMPS ALMOST OVER.
here's a quick run-down of how each day went.

wed:
science - mediocre test; not too easy/hard [think I did okay]
history - alright; there was just this one AJSFKL;ASKFJ WHAT THE question
totally guessed on that one. (:
so like, I spun my oh ever so lucky pencil
and whichever corner it pointed to I marked that. hehehe
verrett praised us though! she was like OMG YOU'RE MY BEST QTR 1 COMP EVER.
cause 1. no one talked. ....which is amazing in itself.
and 2. we all finished before 12:15. yay go periodo tres!
chilled out after school that day, cause nothing the next day. long nap. (:

thurs:
spanish - listened to presentations
gosh I hate how we always pick cinco for clock partner
dos, por favor? >____>
some of the presentations were pretty funny
dolores' could "eat" food XD
(oatmeal canister with slit)
katti's dog was pretty darn gruesomely ripped.
and amy's "oreo" was pretty cool. (:
pe - just screwed around. failed vision test (couldn't read the bottom line AT ALL)
also, totally pwned everyone at egyptian war. :D
oh and in football! got hit on the head cause fernie threw it at me - -xx
goodness. got ice though!

afterschool hung around casue julian had bio study group.
did lots of math. talked with archie and alice and people.
so that was nice.
OH YEAH! PROP 8 PASSED YEAH.
and got invited into a scrub chatroom? uhh, awkward.
but hey it was interesting lol.

you guys like the new skin? comments enabled.
imuna fix it tmrw though. don't have time tonight.

obama won, and uh
talk too fast for spanish oral = 24/25
learned what taht's what she said means
had fun shooting hoops
yeah. I'm hoping prop 8 will pass,
but as of now it's 52-48.
right. wish me luck on midterms!
and I shall do the same
buenas suerte! *sends good luck vibes*

grace's library

okay this is gonna be short
but uhh. pretty good today
coffee and stuffs lecture from barry verrett test is okay
also like heard her say damn softly cause she screwed up
and like got 4 participation in barry
cool korean sub for flowers
saw some cool wrestling moves
media lab for baillie
and yeah packed day
i actually understand science lol

uh but hte highlight of my day was like
I had a really good discussion with marissa
and like. even though  I didn't get to study for verrett like I origianlly planned to
it's still like, in the end grades don't matter.
ti's the people you talked to and the people you saved
that's what matters. so yeah I'm really happy that I got to do that
and thank you to everyone for the arguments I used
wow that huge chain mail really came in handy XD
plus grace's library of stories.

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:21 PM): secretly

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:24 PM): we all ahve a library

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:26 PM): of her stories

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:28 PM): up in her mind

SM1LEplz (10:20:29 PM): LOL

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:33 PM): and right now its sorta collecting dust

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:35 PM): but no worries!

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:40 PM): they contain knowledge

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:44 PM): and we'll use em eventualyl!

x cocoaxpuffx (10:20:44 PM): [:

SM1LEplz (10:20:45 PM): every couple of weeks

SM1LEplz (10:20:52 PM): the author of the stories

SM1LEplz (10:20:56 PM): takes them off the shelves

SM1LEplz (10:20:58 PM): and reads them to us.

x cocoaxpuffx (10:21:01 PM): AGAIN

x cocoaxpuffx (10:21:02 PM): LOL

SM1LEplz (10:21:03 PM): so they never collect dust for long.

SM1LEplz (10:21:05 PM): ahahahha yeah. XD

x cocoaxpuffx (10:21:07 PM): ahaha

x cocoaxpuffx (10:21:08 PM): ^^

but man, I love debating. the way it gets those brain juices flowing

and the way I get to understand what my opponent is thinking. I love it.

I debated with marissa from 9:47 - 10:58.

but it was worth it. (:

days

GAH. freaking verrett!
one interesting thing though
I realize that when I study my lecture notes,
I keep a running commentary in my head to add extra information.
from the book and stuff.
anyways I'm kinda taking a break.
but good thing is! no short answer (:

linda came to  church today.
"it's been so long baby. so many hours, so many days."
also learning new pen trick.
got down most of my spanish oral presentation.
MUJERES Y HOMBRES, CHICOS Y CHICAS, LE PRESENTO A.....
good, yes?
and now I'm stuck here studying.
but good thing! downloaded two albums of norwegian recycling (:
I don't like all of his songs, but most are good.
and yes, it was legal.
I also scanned lecture notes for rita cause she forgot her notebook.
made me feel good. (:
okay well now I gotta study. I'm so scared of verrett comp right now - -xx

good luck to the rest of you for comps!

happy birthday!

go blah yourself :P
I don't feel like saying much today, but

1.HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAT.
2.HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE CASTILLO.
3.HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE YELLOW.
that's it.  

dead day

YAHHH.
by this time of night,
when I finally make time to blog
I forget what I initially wanted to blog about.
well, today was dead day for asb people.
muy interesante.
got to shoot some hoops in educacion fisica
err. have breik and espanol examen manana
not that worried.
I should do fine. finished my patriots pen essay.
that was good.
found my pe shoes. (:
that was nice too!
talked with katti between classes
oh yeah! in spanish, it was kinda weird.
cause like, we had clock partner. but apparently sunny put down herself for both me and eric nguyen at six.
so I was like. w/e. and I went to talk with katti and andrewro. (:
it was more fun than it would've been anyways.
scored nachos! (mexican bingo) lucky lucky numbers :D
also got that plushie ball for participacion. threw it to katti. you should be thankful. :P
and the more I talk to her, the more I realize that serin's just like I am.
she talks. it's just that,
she's not as loud. so it's kinda weird, but she does talk!
talked with lilith too about stuff. 35 minutes of free time in la clase de historia.
okay!
tengo que sleep-o, porque esta muy cansada?
did I say that right?
yeah that's it. well, my essay is on facebook. it's a note.
but if you guys don't have facebook. here it is!


-->

Why America’s Veterans Should Be Honored

War does not appear to affect everyone personally, but it is present in almost every aspect of everyday life – it appears in the news, in the classrooms, and within heated debates. However, here in America, most people do not understand the actuality of war.  John McCain once said, “War is wretched beyond description, and only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality.” War is obviously a distressing subject, so most of us disregard or even completely ignore it. Death is always tragic – even so, a soldier must face it in order to fight for freedom. America’s veterans should be honored for their readiness to lose their lives fighting for the freedom of their own country and for the sake of other nations.

            Despite its name, freedom comes at a great price of human lives. The soldiers who fight in foreign wars make the ultimate sacrifices of all that they hold dear for another’s rights to freedom. They give up the comforts of home and put themselves in danger of death’s merciless hands.  When these soldiers finally come home, some lose their psychological health, still traumatized by the torture they endured. Those at war face the fact that death is inevitable upon the battlefield and choose to fight on nevertheless. Nothing is more honorable than a man who lays down his life for another.

A Chinese proverb explains, “When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.” Like the proverb, we must keep in mind that the American society of tolerance and freedom we enjoy today was sown with our army’s sacrifices. We need to remember and recognize those soldiers and veterans that fought for us and are still fighting now. Why do soldiers decide to join the military to start with? It may be monetary reasons for college, or to make something of themselves, but mostly because they are dutiful people who find it in themselves to serve our country. They fight so that people worldwide might have the rights all are entitled to – life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

            When one thinks of heroism, often times images of Marvel’s superheroes spring to the mind – Superman, Spider-man, or Captain America. In reality, heroes are those who simply demonstrate courage and the willingness for self-sacrifice for a greater good in the midst of danger. And that is what defines America’s veterans: they are our heroes.

carm vs whitney

oh that's right!
forgot to talk about carm vs. whitney game
we lost both.
but hey, I got to see everyone.
they still remember me. I'm happy. (:
agnes; jenfur hwang; sylvia; amy;
those cute kids. (:
OH YEAH MY SHOES GOT JACKED.
yeah that's it.

dying young

these days, I've become more and more obsessed with the idea of dying.
I wonder. what would it be like, if I died young?
would people come to my funeral? would they remember me at school, at church?
would they still think of me from time to time?
do I make a difference in this world?
it makes me wonder.
and then I wonder, would I want to die slow?
be diagnosed with a fatal disease and live knowing my days are numbered,
but to be able to talk to all my friends,
to be able to tell them everything I've wanted to say without fear of consequences
or would I want to die sudden?
to not fear my impending death, but to go out in a flash of glory
not to be remembered as that sickly invalid but as someone active, loud, fun, spontaneous.
I don't know. it's a troubling question.
but I'm not afraid to die.
I'm just afraid I'll die before I've told everyone what they need to hear.
one of these days, I think I'll make a blog dedicated to those that matter most in my life.
and write posts just for specific people, just to tell them what I think they need to hear from me,
and my words to them.
something for them to remember me by. actually, I think I'll do that soon.
that's a good idea.
I'll link it to this blog. two blogs though: one for church, one for school.
I'll do it sometime soon. (:
because you guys matter a lot to me! and even when we grow apart,
you'll still have this to look back on and reflect.

ANYWAYS. my day was umm. alright!
crazy schedule, but whatever. inspirational assembly was heckuva crazy good.
sat with pauline and priya.
cool science experiment! fire and matches and acid and poot! ing sounds
in breik I listened to some of em's oldie music on her CD player
also, I got in some really good bonding time today with celine.
we walked to carm and back together.
and just talked. she's really nice, y'know. pretty too! XD
it's just nice to have one on one time with people every once in a while.
I got some nice conversations with katti too, after we came back.
she's cool. and yeah. I need to do my work. bye!
haha me and alice had this discussion.

conversations

today was tight man!
cause like, in spanish and stuff
me and dolores volunteered to do "theater"
in front of the class
after our clock partner activity.
so we went up there.
....and we had NO idea what to talk about.
cause we didn't really do the activity.
we screwed around. XD
ahha anyways, the only part we got to was.
"escuchas mucho en la clase de espanol?"
so I said that.
and dolores was like. "si...!"
and then I thought, well, it's never bad to compliment the teacher.
so I asked.
"te gusta la profesora de espanol?"
and she's like. "si...!"
XD then I said, tambien!
iono something happened.
I said tambien again.
katti got fed up with my poor spanish I skills.
and she's like stage whispering, "yo tambien...!"
so I'm like. OH. YO TAMBIEN! SI!!!
dolores: muchos gracias
me: muchos gracias. isabella es muy bonita!!!!
dolores: si!!!!
lol we were so off topic. but hey, it was cool.
got double points too cause it was a "real" conversation.
I mean, who talks about what time your classes are?
and what you do in them? lol.
katti tried to get a point cause she was techinically "part"
of our conversation. an inspiration, one could say.
hahahha nice try.

baillie was tight, cause like.
we were here subjects for her masters degree
she had to film students simulating something
so we were doing holocaust and jews and whatnot
me and alice were kapos! yay us! :D
it was fun, mann.
watched more of the great escape.

not much more to say about the day.
got park to edit my essay. that was cool.
got a REALLY cool picture of a dragon from michelle lee.
she be pro, man!
and uhh. shot some hoops for fun. it's pretty satisfying.
talked a bit with that scrub, michelle.
I wanna be to her like the eighth graders were to me last year!
just hope I can be as cool. XD jk.

I also talked a lot with raymond ku today.
about a lot of stuff. he's not that bad of a person.
he's nice. I can relate to him about stuff,
like  his piano is to my academics. ahhaha
we were like rating all the girls in his grade
by looks. yeah it's shallow, but it was fun.
pauline, you won. from what we got to so far. XD
teachers = park, then el moussa, brice, collins.
haha raymond's gonna use that to get on park's good side. (:
and as for me, park TOTALLY loves me. <3
it's also interesting to fnd out how people see me.
cause sayoni and andrewro see me as a happy person
and I guess I am that. I do smile a lot.
hehehehe. i got a question to ask you guys though
honestly, do you think I'm better liked than julian in your grade?
because he's always like "I have no friends."
so I dunno.

days

gosh "k tree" <- freaky giant person.
seriously! >______>
comps next week. I'm not stressing yet, though.
can't let those white hairs/pimples get to me! :D
hmm I was talking with person1 today,
and person1 was like yeah. I really wanna hang out with you guys,
but since person2 isn't real comfortable in a group setting.
[note: person1 knows person2 really well. bestfriend-ish?]
I feel like I don't get any time with you guys anymore.
I was gonna talk with person2 about it, but person1 didn't want me to.
it's okay. I'll find out anyways. (:
cause we can't let person2 steal person1 from us!
even though persons1&2 are both awesome people.

not much today, pretty boring actually.
got a kayaking demo. not gonna do it though, for pe.
I don't wanna walk to cpe and back! D:
they let us out really late. >___>
so yeah, I raised 154 dollars in total! yayyy
also me and johnny got one for _______
secret though! it's perfect, what it says. no liee. (:
yeah I forgot what I was gonna say.
if I remember. I'll add? ahha.

300

museum of tolerance was GREAT.
honestly.
and it's the first time I've actually held a conversation with serin in real life.
she talks. she really does. (:
our group won for the quiz! got a pencil, but I think I lost it.
oh wells.
also like bonded with a couple of sophomores
frances &samir were our chaperones (:
talked to michael kim on the bus.
pretty cool people, no?

senora barry rejected my mexican beer names.

and oh goodness.
hoc people.
cat. jackie. b-fly.
you guys seriously made my day.
you guys seriously made my week, actually.
no joke.
I was so happy, man.
cause you guys really do mean a lot to me.
thanks for coming <3
maybe I'm "mean"to you guys
but you know I love you! :D
despite the tackles and the punches.
I love you guys.
I really do. (:
come back soon! I'll be waiting.

------------------------------edit
OMGSH THIS IS 300TH POST.
IT MUST BE FATE.

spanish

science is pretty fun.
we make fun of jasmine, me and alijah.
cause she looks at the clock every minute.
seriously. at most, two minutes. XD
freaking hilarious.
verrett is always ehhhhh.
her voice is like JSKLD;FAJSJFDASD
not worse than the ram____wick twins. but getting there.
and the way she sucks her water bottle.
and how we waste time with channel one.
gah!
barry = she called on me twice!
but that was gay cause we had a partner activity,
and she thought I was with leondra
so she called on me for that >___>
and then I was with pedro, so she didn't use me anymore.
GOSH. THAT'S MESSED UP. YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND CAUSE OF WHO I'M A PARTNER WITH.
stupid leondra. stealing my participacion.
I kinda wanted to cry. cause I like to cry. (:
but I didn't.
baillie was. ehhh. but I'm realizing more and more that,
I'm not really gonna be as close a friend with _____ as I'd want to be.
cause _____'s always talking to her other friends.
and I realize I can't compare. it's okay though...
sold more keychains! :D
pe = ehhhh. one of the ram____wick twins is freaking bi man
cause he was all like hugging me when he tried to pull my flag
and then he did the same to fernie.
sexual harassment - -xx
breik = found out who ____'s lover is. XD
pwahahha.

student showcase

student showcase = pwnage
felt sorry for halah
but whatever.
yeah. last act with bunch of seniors was awesome
zach, ronnie, kimmy, jan, tiffany, maria bolanos
crazy man!
emilyh and brianlee was good
so was jesspark and josh
and everyone else that went. (:
haha me and angel planned out thsi whole skit
for faculty follies. XD
with crissman, park, collins, joe, ednoff, dalley, tseng, torres.
pwahahha!
we were also talking about pretty teachers. (:
for me, I rank my teachers like thsi:
park >collins >torres
hehe yeah. boring day, for the most part.
finished selena. she died. how sad >___>
goodness!
helped pull out bleachers.
oh and good job volleyball!
middle & high
for winning today. (:
BOO FEDDE AND OXFORD.
hehehhe. and remember guys,
tomorrow is the last day you can buy keychains!

days

science is pretty fun these days,
especially with my table.
me and alijah were just watching andre play ds under the table XD
and there was this cool heat color thing!
verrett = mehh. but I'm happy that my friendship with ______ is all patched up now.
it makes me happy. (:
barry = SELENA SELENA SELENA.
yay go j-lo! stupid yolanda lady came out though.
she fuglyyyy. (:
baillie = great escape! yay (:
it's a pretty cool movie. we have it, and I think I watched it before XD
lunch = animal planet meeting.
it was alright I guess. talked with christine castillo w/ emilyliang and annie afterwards.
then stopped by collins for karen. talked to her, too.
pe = cool cool. 62-12. ahhah. we're just too pwnage ;D
at the end, my day kinda started going downhill. but that's more in breik.
breik = _____ was really emo =/
me and kevin chon got really worried,
we thought maybe ____ was just tired, but _____ didn't even talk.
so we worried ><
and I tried my hardest to cheer ______ up! but nothing worked.
I hope you feel better though! (:

EVERYONE BUY KEYCHAINS FROM ME.

football

blargh.
football = muy intense-o.
blitzing and all. it's like..
OMGSH TONY DAI NO NO NO
cause our team is always ahead,
by 10+ points so tony like blitzes and it's like
ajsfl;weirua;j
yeah. but today I blitzed serin!
got past tony, miraculously
but by then she had run the other way
so all I see on the field is serin
and BAM! I run into alice.
totally tackled her. XD
it's cool, cause that was a nice block.
I think we won...16-0? something like that.
it's always fun playing against alice's team.

switched seats in science!
I'm pretty cool with my seat.
cause here's how it's looking
(I'm in the left back corner btw)
jasmine fernie andre tonya
me alijah amykim priyanka
not bad, not bad. alijah's pretty cool.
today we melted mothballs!
then, when they cooled down we left teh thermometer in
and it got stuck
hehehe (:

sold a bunch of keychains! yay. imuna make lots and lots of money
also I gotta get jessliu to design our dc shirt. (:
can't let that sheila steal all the glory!
yeah
I'm having some nice convos with people these days.
tried to convince katti to buy a keychain.
and failed miserably XD
anyone wanna buy a keychain? (:

OMGOSH I PUT A TITLE.

goodness. I haven't posted about my weekend at all.
well this is gonna make up for everything
and then I'm gonna shower, alright?
so. happy birthday ellie!
friday didn't go to church - no ride.

saturday - omgoodness freaking fun!
played at park! :D then whole bunc hseniors came,
for andrew liang cause his bday be on tuesday.
they played with us (:
there was zach, ronnie, dianna, liz wang (victoria's sis), thomas, andrew park, frances, and couple of indians.
lol I don't know them.
but it was coo! cause I ddin't know that liz was victoria's sis. it was after I looked at her more closely,
and then I'm thinking. wow she looks really familiar.
and then I'm thinking. victoria has a sister that's a senior.
and then I'm thinking. they give off the same feeling.
so all of these thoughts added together = person is victoria's sister!
and I was right. cause I asked her, but I checked with andrew liang first just in case.
didn't wanna make a fool of myself after all. XD
introduced myself to a couple of em, haha.
hope they come back! :D
they're pretty cool. played capture the flag, and our team was pwnage.
cause we ahd thomas. pwahahah!
but  I got to pull couple people's flags, like brian wang and tony (:
oh and! our team names. LOL they're so funny.
team 1 (that's us)
YES. and our cheer was like, let's do the fork in the garbage disposal. DING DING DING DING DING.
hahaha (: from the yes dance, if you didn't get the reference.
youtube it.
team 2
度奶 - poison milk. their cheer was like. poison milk! and then live forever? in chinese though
ahahha it was pretty interesting,
cause zach was on that team and he's pretty darn white. XD
team 3
CHICKEN FATTY!!! ahahahah so hilarious
what they did for their cheer was shake their arms
so all the fat jiggled. XD
you shoulda been there.
but yeah, fun fun fun.
at night we headed over to my place.
made up skits. (the seniors went away after capture the flag)
haha tyree walks on water!
and olivia's chocolate milk craving.
and out pwnage professor (eric huang)
plus the gorgeous hippie invisible angel (yvonne)
then me and ting and wee watched wanted.
pretty good movie. (:
church = okay. had some good talks about abortion and homosexuality.
drew my spanish project!
and now I gotta shower.
see you guys tmrw (:

AJSDFKL;ASJD;FJKASD;LFJKASD
STUPID VERRETT ESSAY.
but really, thanks a lot to y'all who have so kindly agreed to read my essay.
and contribute your two bits.
if I get any money, I'll give you guys some XD

shout out to:

SYLVIA TRAN.

KATTI HORNG.

JENNY RYOO.

KEVIN CHI.

all of 'em fabulous writers, seriously.

you guys have completely different styles XD

I'm reading your comments, and I"m like. whoa.

so different.

but I liked katti's style, cause it was the most like mine (:

hehe. her and her "juicy" essays. pwahhaha!

I think I'll end up writing like katti in a couple of years.

hung out with pauline and the gahr kid at the library.

we talked.

he's pretty cool. (:

school was alright.

science = ehhhh.

espanol = so-so.

pe = cut my hand on that dude's braces.

okay I gotta sleep (:

see ya guys at school tmrw!

yesterday:
dressed really nicely for holocast speaker.
lol everyone complimented me
felt nice (:
some people said I looked like baillie too
uhh...that's kinda weird haha
I guess sorta
with the black pants, black shoes, purple top.
hahahah.
played alice's team yesterday too
freaking hard. but it was fun. (:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism

wouldn't it suck if you had that?
I think it would.
I'm really satisfied right now though,
becuase I had a really long and deep conversation with _______
and even though I didn't get any studying done,
I feel like I did the right thing. (:

below is my thoughtful post for the day.
hahahha
but today was actually pretty good!
got 5 freaking participation points :D
so crazy! loved it. I was on a roll.
now, I just have to hope that everyone in the class gets 2 points....
then it'll totally make up for me not being there.
><
thanks michelle for editing my essay at lunch btw (:
pe was pretty tough.
sathwick + ruthwick's team.
victor is so INTENSE. he's like >:o
all the time. and I try to block him, but it's so hard..
also like I was trying to sack ruthwick,
cause he was qb. but then he threw the ball. and a turned to try not crashing into him
and then I fell on my butt.
but it's like the kind where you sit down expecting to find a chair
but someone pulls it out so you fall really really hard.
yeah taht kind. >___> so my head hurt for the rest of the day.
haha in breik, we had a pretty chill sub.
anyways. emily left to go to the restroom right?
and she leaves the door open.
so priya, being the genius that she is,
decides to kick the door shut.
with her foot that only has a sandal on it.
so she does it. and then we hear,
OWWWWW.
apparently she broke her toenail XD
pretty gruesome, mannn.
so then we waited for emily to come back,
and when she did I was like IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT :D
and she's like O___O
then she said,
"yeah..I was thinking about closing the door, but then I thought. nah! so I left it open."
so see! it was her fault.
we waited for her forever cause she had band-aids.
haha and the whole period priya was complaining about walking home where there's a sex offender.
hahahaha (:

I feel like I've made a bunch of new friends this school year.
it's only been, oh, a month and a half?
but I feel as if I have so many new friends,
friends that I feel like I can keep and that I can trust.
but that's how I feel with almost all my friends.
and, most of the time, I end up drifting away after 3-4 months.
I just don't know.
we'll see...

have you ever had that feeling, where, you just wanted that person to acknowledge you?
like you just wanted her/him to recognize that you're there.
to say hi to you in the hallways. there's no particular reason for that feeling,
but it just drives you crazy because they don't acknowledge you.
because you try so hard, you try to catch their eye, you wave and say hi
but they never do anything back. it's frustrating.
you're not asking for a deep and meaningful conversation,
for them to suddenly become your best friend,
you're not asking for anything more than a simple smile, a simple hello as you pass each other.
that's not much to ask, is it?
and still. those hellos dance beyond my reach, irritating me,
and it's not letting me stop thinking about it.
it comes into my mind at least once a day, and despite all the friends you already have,
it's just that one person or two who don't recognize that you're there and that you're trying to be their friend.
it doesn't leave me rest.
and it's been bothering me for quite a while now.
I just wish they'd wake up and see me as more than another student that goes to whitney high, same as them,
but actually see me as a potential friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE HAYASHIDA!

I miss you like no other, man <3
wish you were here with me.

today was. alright?
flew our hot air balloons
ours was 3rd to last! not bad, not bad. XD
16 seconds.
jasmine's balloon was like, 3.5. and team bombay had 57 seconds!
flew over the gym.
pretty tight.
we kinda improvised on ours cause we ran out of time.
whatever (:

in verrett there was a mouse! and we chased it into rosenberg's room.
5 minutes later.
we hear people screaming XD
so freaking hilarious! cause our class was all quiet,
and all of a sudden someone screams. (:
elberson heard it too, haha.

spanish we had garcia as a sub.
I'm kinda worried though. cause I"m gonna lose a bunch of participation points =/
from wednesday and next friday.
goshdarnit! D:
these days, barry never calls on me.
we were listening to garcia tell about her husband's breast cancer
pretty gruesome
and on the other side of the room, leo and katti and ted were all trying to hold a pen on their chin
SOOOOO freaking funny. XD
got my essay proofread by katti.

pe = won 42-14.
coulda won by more, but fernie was screwing around >__>

breik is just breik. haha.
science&history test wednesday.
oh dearr. gotta study study study!
after school today though,
man I really hate people who are new to talking online
they are so IMPATIENT.
I was like that too once, but. it's just so annoying.
and that girl, anastasia? she's so weird...
how does she even remember me?
I had a really good convo with nicole though.
sent her a really long email. I really put a lot of thought into it.
and, it really made me think.
but the thing is! she loved it. almost made her cry.
when she said that, I wanted to cry too.
man I really miss her =/
WELL. I'm gonna be un-sad now! cause I gotta sleep!
gnite people (:

yesterday was...alright.
didn't get much done.
finished most of espanol project (the writing part)
did math/science hwk.
devoting the rest of today to patriot pen essay.
...which I am gonna totally bs. :D
yeah.
had a pretty good convo w/ tiff chen.
we reminisced on how much of a jerk we were in elementary school. (:
let's have a conversation like that, yes?
translated stuff english -> chinese to help vicky out
(taiwan student)
with the awesome sat2 chinese-er,
katti horng!
yay katti! :D everyone applaud for her.
it's a lot harder than it looks lol
I'd rather translate chinese -> english.

but yeah. man, sometimes I read other people's blogs and I'm thinking.
wow. life is so harsh, you know?
it's so messed up. friends stab each other in the back,
and sometimes, everything just goes wrong.
I hate it when that happens. but that's life,
and everything does happen for a purpose.
you just have to figure out what that purpose is.
might be good, might be bad.
but most everything turns out alright in the end.
trust me (:

alright, enough thinking deep.
my mind is not built that way.
I'm a very shallow person.
time to play video games!
....and then think about why america's veterans should be honored.
BLEHHH :P